“An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.”
Edgar Wallace

“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”
- Abba Eban

“You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.”

“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

“There is one thing on which men and women agree: neither of them trust in women.”
Henry Louis Mencken

“Marriage is the most common cause of divorce”
Groucho Marx

“A terrible thing happened again last night – nothing.”
Phyllis Diller

“There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.”
Cyril Connolly

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing”

“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”
- George Bernard Shaw